The Pain of Life or the Quiet of Death
by Death101a
Summary: A devisated Heero cuts communications with the other pilots, and drifts, but will he find himself confronted by those he hates the most? old, crappy work... I chaptered it because I don't want to lose ppl's reviews... but new reviews are always appreciat
1. Part 1

Despite politely written requests to Bandai, I do not own Gundam Wing.  
  
Another attempt at seriousness. When will I learn? Death, torture and general unpleasantness ahead, people. Also, it's AU, I guess, since it splits off after the end of the series, so Endless Waltz hasn't, and never will, happen in this universe. This is because I haven't actually seen Endless Waltz, although I think I've got the gist of it from fanfics I've read (... ah, I wish they'd've put spoiler warnings in, although I was expecting it, so I wasn't angry or anything... it was more of an annoyance).   
  
So, anyway, in this universe, the colonies each have their own direct democracies, with one assembly with reps from all the colonies to regulate trade and communications in space, and between space and earth. Earth (the World Nation) has(is) a republic. Relena is a representative for a region that includes what was the Sanq Kingdom. And this universe isn't completely without any similarities to Endless Watlz.. I don't think. Like I said, I haven't seen it, so I can't be sure. Yes, that information has some relevancy to the story. I'm not sure how much yet, though. This universe came from some early fics of mine best forgotten.   
  
Also, this fic contains shonen ai, 1x2 and 3x4.. and OOCness for some people...  
  
a quick legend for everyone:  
  
"..."-talking  
~...~-thinking  
{{...}}-telepathic communication  
  
Hope that doesn't confuse you too much ^_^ And just because telepathic communication is in the legend, doesn't necessarily mean it'll be used. This is just my cut 'n' paste legend I use for most serious fics o mine.   
  
(First time I've used on ff net, though. If you read more of my serious stuff I write, you'll be seeing this legend again..)   
  
And now, finally, the fic!  
  
  
++++++++++  
  
  
  
  
  
The Pain of Life or The Quiet Of Death   
  
(Part One - Falling)  
  
by Shinigamis"I should really be studying for History now..."Angel  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Chapter 1  
  
  
Duo was dead. ~If it wasn't for me, he'd still be alive...~ Heero thought bitterly to himself.  
  
Duo had died on a mission for the United Earth/Space Armed Forces. It was rarely called the United Earth/Space Armed Forces, usually being referred to as the United Armed Forces, UAF, or UESAF. But that was besides the point.  
  
The UAF was -the- army. It was the only military force allowed, which answered to both the world nation and the colonial assembly. It was created because some people need to know that there -would- be consequences for their actions. Like how there would be anarchy without a law force, the newly formed governments feared there would be anarchy without a military. After some debate, the UFA was created.  
  
Heero had joined immediatly. Being a soldier was what he knew. Duo hadn't wanted to join, Heero knew it. He would have much rathered to continued to work salvage. Heero was pretty sure... no, Heero -knew-, the only reason Duo had joined was because he wanted to work with him. Because of their skill and experience during the war, Duo, Wufei, Trowa, and he had all been given the rank of colonel. Quatre was the only one not to join, mainly because he represented his colony in the colonial assembly. The newly christened colonels either commanded their own regiments, or the four worked together on operations that requiered a small and very talented force. It was during one of the latter that Duo had died. A well armed terrorist group had gotten hold of the smallpox virus, and could have developed biological weapons from it...  
  
Heero tried not to think about it too much. It wasn't until Duo's death that Heero truely understood his feelings for him... or, maybe it was when Heero was finally able to admit to himself that he felt that way. Feelings that he had merely pushed away, even though he knew Duo shared them. Only when this world came chrashing down around him as the the light went out of the other pilot's eyes did he realize how much the American ment to him. And, now, Duo never would be able to know.  
  
~If I had not joined, he would be alive. If I had not been such a coward as to run from my own heart, he would still be alive. If I had been more observant on the mission, he would still be alive. If, if, if....~ He couldn't believe he was stuck on these 'what if's. It was disgusting. He should be the one dead...  
  
After that mission, Heero had resigned his commission. He couldn't even stand to be around there anymore, where Duo had worked... people all in the same uniform he'd worn... But fighting was all he knew, and he had found his way back to it. He was just on a different side now. He didn't care about sides anymore. He didn't care about anything. Death, life, good, bad, boxers, briefs... it was all the same to him.  
  
He'd changed alot since that day. Like now he was participating in something he never would have before.  
  
He was involved in a conspiracy to kill Relena Darlain.  
  
Ha. And no one knew it. He'd taken extreme care with his 'disappearence'. With 'friends' like the gundam pilots, who would come looking for him, and knew very well how to do so, he'd need to be thorough. He'd watched them to be sure they wouldn't find something he might have overlooked (although he -knew- he hadn't left anything to chance). Quatre was the only one who'd tried, the others knowing that if Heero wanted to be gone, there was no use in trying to find him.  
  
He thought a minute about having to confront Wufei or Trowa, on the battliefield... as enemies... Well, at least they had a chance at actually ending his miserable, pointless life.   
  
  
Chapter 2  
  
  
Trowa looked in Heero's empty office, and then at the door to Duo's. It still had 'Col. Duo Maxwell' on the door, just like Heero's still held his name plate on it. It had been months. No one had the heart to remove the signs, to use the space. No one wanted to admit they were gone.  
  
Trowa was starled when he felt a hand slip around his waist. "Sorry, didn't mean to surprize you like that." Quatre said quietly as Trowa looked down at the little blonde.   
  
"They adjourn the meeting?" Trowa asked his little angel. Quatre shook his head, "Just a long lunch break." There was a long silence as they stood between the silent rooms. Unnaturally silent, especially since one should have contained Duo.  
  
"It's hard to believe." Quatre stated. Trowa simply nodded. "Do you think we'll ever see Heero again?" came Quatre's soft voice once again.  
  
"I honestly have no idea." Trowa replied. The two stood there, each remembering their lost comrades... one that could never return to this place, another who never would want to.  
  
  
Chapter 3  
  
  
Heero looked into Westlin's eyes, and knew he wasn't all there. But then again, Heero himself wasn't exactly sane, either. Which was why they were doing this. Westlin had some obsessive hate for the Sanq Kingdom and Relena. He planned to not only kill her, but to completely eradicate all life inside the old borders of the Sanq Kingdom. Schneider, his right hand woman, obviously had plans to take over Westlin's organization once his goal was accomplished. Obvious to Heero at least. Westlin was probably just too absorbed to notice. She would probably threaten to attack other reprisentives and their old countries after Relena was made an example out of, or something, to try to get whatever she wanted from the World Nation or the Colonial Assembly. Heero didn't care about what she did once the mission was over.   
  
"Janus, you're just going to be there as back up in case they don't feel like honoring the deal.", Westlin said, and Heero nodded. Janus was the name he used when he approched these people. He hadn't exactly spent 7 hours deciding what he was going to call himself.  
  
***  
  
Heero and fellow members of his group followed Westlin into the abandoned warehouse. They were all heavily armed and ready. There hadn't been any traps detected... yet, anyway.  
  
The people who were selling Westlin the weapon he needed to accomplish his task came in the other side of the warehouse. As they got closer, Heero realized that he knew those people. With horror, he identified them as the same people who had stolen the smallpox virus. The same people who'd killed Duo... The weapon his group was buying must have been the fruit of their experiments with the virus. All the virus was thought to have been recovered from the site, but appearently not. A biological weapon of that calibur would probably have the destructive power Westlin desired. Heero did his best to keep himself composed, to fight the urge to tear those people's hearts out, rip off their heads, and spit down their necks.  
  
The deal seemed to go by smoothly, and the money was exchanged for several metal briefcases. They turned to exit, Heero and a couple of others walking backwards to keep an eye on the sellers. They weren't out yet, and there was still plenty of time for dirty tricks. Then Heero felt something hit him in the neck. Before he could even look in the direction it came from, he was swallowed by the darkness.   
  
***  
  
When Heero woke up, he was met by the cold green eyes of one of the weapon makers. He made to grab the person's throat, and found himself shackled to a metal table, with tubes and things either stuck into or taped to him. He couldn't quite see them, but he felt them, so he knew that they were there. It was somewhat simular when he'd been captured that day he first came to earth... but it was exactly the same as.... no.. he wouldn't think of that -now-.   
  
The man looked up and away. Heero tried to follow his gaze, but even his head was strapped tightly to the table, and he couldn't. Then another man Heero reconized from that fateful mission peered down at him. His eyes were a dark brown, his black hair cut close to his head. He sneered as he said, "Good morning, Heero Yuy." Heero seethed in rage. His eyes narrowed at the man, but he managed to keep himself mostly under control.  
  
"Westlin was very upset to hear you're a UAF spy. He gave you to us for use in our ... research.", the second man said mocklingly, as the one with the green eyes left Heero's field of vision. Heero couldn't take it anymore, to be here, with Duo's murders, likely to share his fate. He snarled, and throwing himself against the restraints, his eyes filled with pure hate, he spat at the man closest to him. The man stood straight, wiping his face with his sleeve. "You should save your strength, labrat." the man said calmly. He looked over at something, or someone, Heero couldn't see. The man nodded, and then Heero felt pain surge through him, and he held his breath to keep him from making a sound. His entire body convulsed violently, and he lost all concept of time to the undelutied sensation of pure pain. He could have been like that for 20 seconds, or 3 hours. Then the worst of it was gone in an instant, although he was hurting still. Heero gasped, finally being able to take another breath.  
  
"I do not tolerate insolence from labrats.", the man with his same cool demenor. He regarded Heero for a moment, "Quiet, hmm? Well, every test subject finds their voice with us. You should know that." The brown-eyed man put one hand on the edge of the table, and walked down to it's end, watching Heero the entire time then continued, "I'm sure you're aware of the use of eletrocution as a method of torture. This isn't one of the experiments. But you see, we need to make sure our labrats can squeal..." The man's lips curved up in a sadistic little smile. As the man looked up and away from Heero while simultaniously lifting his and from the table, Heero tensed, trying to seal himself against what he knew was coming. As another electrical charge blasted through Heero's defenseless body, he knew there would be no surviving this failed mission.  
  
But did it matter?  
  
  
Chapter 4  
  
  
Quatre couldn't sleep. Something was wrong. He knew it. It had to be Heero. Heero was in trouble. It was that little talent of his acting up again, although he didn't know anything other than something was terribly wrong. He couldn't exactly approch anyone with such little information to go on.   
  
Even if he did know Heero was in trouble, there wasn't anything he or anyone else could do. Heero had covered up his tracks too well, slipping, unnoticed, into the sea of people in space. Or maybe he'd gone back to Earth. Without any leads, there was no way of knowing.  
  
"Oh, Heero, why did you leave? .... it wasn't your fault." Quatre said softly to no one as he stared up at the colony's half-real half-projected sea of stars from the balcony. He knew there'd be no answer. Even if Heero was there, there'd be no answer. ~But self-accusation for Duo's death~, Quatre thought to himself, ~couldn't be the only reason you left, Heero. There was something more, right?~ Quatre sighed, and whispered softly , "I hope you find peace, my friend."  
  
Trowa watched Quatre from the bed. He heard Quatre's words, and there was no question for whom they were intended. He silently got out of the bed, and wrapped his arms around the little blonde. At first, Quatre jumped, to lost in his own thoughts to notice Trowa coming up on him, but then he half turned in Trowa's grip, laying his head against Trowa's chest, "You know that I love you, right?"  
  
"Of course, you know I do. You tell me every day, Little, but even if you didn't, I'd always know. Now come to bed, we both have to work early tomarrow."  
  
"I hope he's okay." Quatre murmered.  
  
~So do I... so do I...~ Trowa thought as Quatre and he made their way back to try to get some sleep.  
  
  
Chapter 5  
  
  
Heero was breathing in short, ragged gasps. His whole body shook with pain, and was wet with sweat. His lip was bleeding from where he clamped down on it to keep from giving that destesable man the satsifaction of hearing him scream. But it wouldn't be long before he couldn't contain the pain within himself any longer. Both he and the brown-eyed man knew it.  
  
"His heartrate is dangerously high." came an unfamiliar female voice from somewhere behind Heero's head.  
  
"Alright, that's fine. We've wasted enough time." the brown-eyed man, who was ovboiusly the highest ranking if not the leader of these people, said in the direction of the female voice. He looked over to Heero's right and told someone to bring the samples. Then his eyes focused on Heero once again, "We've created a sustance that burns tissue like acid, but it doesn't corrode metal, and it acts as a toxin. But only in an open wound. We're thinking about coating bullets with it. Sure, it won't be armor piercing, but maybe we can toy with it some more. But to even be nicked by a bullet covered with this solution would result in death... without the detox, which only we have. Yes, others will figure out how to make it eventually. And how fast the person would die depends on where the bullet hit them, but the estimate is if the target is nicked with a treated bulleted, they'd die withing three days. If it's a direct hit anywhere on their body, within 24 hours...", the man held up the two bottles, "We have two types, and we want to see which one works better. And in case you were wondering, we'll give you the detox before you die. We have uses for you yet." he explained.  
  
Then the man was handed two small bottles. The person who brought the solution to the man pulled out a knife and walked over to Heero. He spread alcohol over the top of Heero's right forearm. Then he measured a six inch line, and drew out a scalpel. Heero winced as he was cut into, but managed not to make much of a sound. The procedure was repeated on his left arm, and still Heero was quiet. Then the brown-eyed man moved over to one of him arms, and carefully opening a bottle, used the eye dropper to place a small amount of the compound into Heero's wound. In a mere fraction of a second, just as the man started to walk over to drop the second solution into Heero's other wound, he began to feel the searing pain. The pain rapidly started to spread from his forearm up. At last, it was all too much for him, and he cried out in pure agony. He barely had the time to refill his lungs with air when he felt his pain double as the second solution was added. He screamed again in anguish. If the brown-eyed man was relishing in all this, Heero couldn't tell. The pain clouded his vision and invaded his every thought. He struggled in the retaints, the metal tearing into his flesh. But he didn't notice, because it paled in comparison to the buring pain from each of his arms.  
  
***  
  
So the days went by, the "scientists" pumping him full of this or that. He'd lost his voice due to the tormented cries he found himself making. He couldn't feel what exactly they were doing to him anymore, couldn't hear their explainations. He was contsainly suffering, so whatever they did didn't matter anymore. He just knew he hurt. While before he'd been rather indifferent to whether he lived or died, now he longed for death. It was the only thing that might end his pain. He'd do anything to make it stop.  
  
{{What the hell have they done to you...?}} came the distressed, sympathetic forgien little thought inserted into his mind. Heero took a minute to put a conscious thought together, and when he did, that thought was ~... now I'm going insane...~  
  
{{No you aren't.}} the voice inside Heero's head said firmly. A strangely familiar voice....  
  
{{It'd better be!}}  
  
Then Heero found himself completely released from his pain. He was standing on what felt to be something hard and tangable, but there didn't appear to be a floor, or walls, or anything else. Just grey nothingness. Was this death? He looked down at himself, and he was completely unmarked. He heard someone clearing their throat behind him, and he turned.  
  
"...Duo?"  
  
The figure before him definatly was Duo. His hair was in its customary braid, his violet eyes sparkling with that which was his very essence. He was clothed in that same priest outfit he had on when they'd first laid eyes on eachother. But there was something different. It was then Heero noticed the long, graceful ebony bat-like wings that arched from his back, and the large scythe with an elaborately carved onyx shaft and silver blade he wielded. As Heero started at him in total shock, a small smile crept up onto Duo's lips.  
  
"What were you expecting... an angel of mercy?"  
  
  
  
  
++++++++++The End++++++++++  
  
  
I hope you liked. Part 2 is up, but I still encourage you to review this induvidual part. Thanks.  
  
  
-ShinigamisAngel  
shinigamisangel@yahoo.com  
  



	2. Part 2

I don't own Gundam Wing. Bet you didn't see that one coming.  
  
Same warnings from part one apply. If you don't know what those are, then you probably haven't read part one yet, and I strongly recommend you do so.  
  
a quick legend for everyone:  
  
"..."-talking  
~...~-thinking  
{{...}}-telepathic communication  
  
Hope that doesn't confuse you too much ^_^ And just because telepathic communication is in the legend, doesn't necessarily mean it'll be used. This is just my cut 'n' paste legend I use for most serious fics o mine.   
  
Thanks to Himitru, Naie, TrainerRachel, jonnyboy, and Ryo0oki for reviewing part 1, thereby making sure this chapter didn't go something along the lines of : "Then the world ended. The End.". Also, this part came out a little later than I ment it to, sorry!  
  
Now on to part zwei, hope you enjoy!  
  
  
++++++++++  
  
  
  
  
The Pain of Life or the Quiet of Death  
  
(Part Two - Restoration)  
  
by Shinigamis"Wow, you found blood in my caffinestream?"Angel  
  
  
  
  
Chapter 1  
  
  
Quatre had confessed his renewed apprehension about Heero's well being to Trowa. So for Quatre's sake, Trowa had begun searching for clues to his whereabouts.  
  
And to his surprize, he did find a lead.  
  
During a interrogation, a prisoner mentioned someone whose description could have matched Heero's. It was quite vauge, and normally Trowa wouldn't have paid any attention to it, but how the prisoner had described how the person had glared at him -did- catch Trowa's attention. To be sure, he made a photo lineup, and had the prisoner pick the induvidual out. Sure enough, it was Heero.  
  
Trowa questioned the prisoner. He'd been quite cooperative, since he was shooting for a lighter sentence. What he was told didn't comfort Trowa any.  
  
Why would Heero be acting as a guard to a terrorist leader? You could be generous, and say he was planning to assassinate him, but that didn't seem to fit.   
  
The prisoner told him that Heero had been using the name Travis Fisher at the time. Lucky for Trowa, the terrorist group had kept records that their organization had gotten hold of. Sure enough, there was a Travis Fisher on the payroll. He turned up shortly after Heero had first left and disappeared 3 weeks before the UAF had stormed their HQ.  
  
So, if he was going to kill the leader, why hadn't he before he'd left the group? As the leader's personnal guard, he would have had a countless number of opppertunities. If he was going to kill him after he left the group, why wait so long? Hell, Heero hadn't even given them any clue the group existed. The UAF only found out after a bombing on a civilian bus. This was during a time that Heero was supposedly a part of the group. In his position, wouldn't he have known about it? Why didn't he do anything to stop it or warn someone? All of this certainly made Heero's charater questionable.  
  
He wasn't sure if he should tell Quatre. Wufei had said "Until Yuy explains himself, I will not trust him. If he crosses me, I will not hesitate.", when he found out about Heero's suspicious activities.   
  
Trowa continued to think quietly in the den to the right of the bedroom Quatre and he shared, all the papers relating to Heero spread over the desk. It was as if he believed if he stared at them long enough they'd change. He didn't want to believe that his friend could change so much. Then he heard Quatre's cry from next door. Trowa bolted for the bedroom, knocking over his chair, and threw open the door.  
  
Quatre was sitting straight up in bed, shaking, his hands clenched and over his heart. Trowa ran over to him, and gently placed a hand on his shoulder, and Quatre looked up at him, wide eyd.  
  
"The same feeling as when Heero self-destructed." Quatre managed to say. Trowa wrapped his arms around his love and held him for a bit. When Quatre calmed down, Trowa looked into his angel's eyes, and knew he couldn't keep anything from him.  
  
"About Heero..." Trowa began.  
  
  
Chapter 2  
  
  
"What were you expecting... an angel of mercy?"  
  
That face, that voice. It brought back all the painful memories Heero had been pushing away along with his feelings...  
  
***  
  
Duo and he'd gone into the compund a day early to scout it out. They didn't want to risk releasing the virus. Heero remembered slipping through the corridors, Duo at his side. But one minute Duo was there, and when Heero had turned a corner, he wasn't. Heero hadn't even bothered to look for him. The mission was more important than the both of them, right?  
  
Heero was in outer area of the enemy base. Finally, after hours of dodging guards and cameras, he came upon what he'd been looking for, security. He used his falsified keycard, and opened the door, heading into the room which had a wall of monitors on one side, displaying what the security camera saw. He'd just shot the guard when one of the monitors caught his eye. It was Duo, badly beaten and strapped down to a table.  
  
Heero's gut went cold, and he honestly couldn't have told you why at the time. He went to the computer and punched up the sound for that room. Looking back at the monitor, he saw a guy in surgical garb standing over Duo with a scapel.  
  
"It's not too late for an anesthetic, you know. All you have to do is tell us what we want." Heero heard someone say. Duo didn't say a word, a testament to how hurt he must be. Duo always taunted his enemies when he was able to. Then the same voice added, "Then you leave me no choice, rat."  
  
Then came the scream. Duo cried out in pure agony as Heero watched the man with the scalpel cut into mercilessly into him. It was a scream that would haunt Heero's nightmares for the rest of his life. But the scream shook Heero into action. He turned to the computer, letting the mission take second place to finding out where Duo was. Heero continued to listen to Duo's screams as he worked, each one hurting him more than any bullet wound ever could. Although that was a fact he would admit to no one.  
  
Duo was held in the higher security areas in the heart of the complex. Heero's fake ID wouldn't get him that far. The titanium walls between Heero and there were too thick for any explosives that Heero carried on him or that were being kept anywhere Heero could get to to blast through. To change his current keycard to a security level clearance that would get Heero inside the inner walls could, literally, take days. Heero had never felt so helpless in his life. He tapped into their communications systems, finally turning the sound off, and contacted HQ. Trowa's face appeared on the vid screen.  
  
"Heero, what's wrong? Why aren't you maintaining radio silence?" Trowa asked in a very neutral tone.  
  
"Duo was captured, they're trying to break him, and I can't get to him." Almost as an afterthought, Heero pulled up maps of the place and sent them along the line to Trowa, "There are the maps, the room where the virus is kept is highlighted, so is security, where I am. Get here as soon as you can. Duo will need medical attention." Then Heero cut off the transmission. He turned the sounds back on and watched, contemplating how he would kill the people hurting Duo, trying to memorize any of their facial features and distinctions he could make out in the picture so he could pick them out.  
  
He didn't know long he stayed that way. He wondered if those people down there knew that they were torturing two people at the same time with their actions. Oh, they would pay. Some would die quickly, but most would die so very slowly. Heero kept trying to study -them-... he tried to block out Duo's weakening cries of pain, but it didn't work very well. Finally, Duo's tormenters started to remove the surgical masks and caps that hid their faces from Heero as they left Duo whimpering. He saw the man with short black hair and brown eyes, they green eyed man that stood taller than the first, with dirty blonde hair, the red hairded woman with the limp and blue eyes, and the others. Heero bruned their faces into his memory.   
  
Then Heero heard noises outside the door. He got his gun ready, in case it was another security guard here for his shift. He lowered it as Trowa and Wufei came in.  
  
Heero couldn't recall exactly what Wufei and Trowa said. They blabbed about the mission, and Heero paid just enough attention to get the important details from it. Trowa and Wufei then noticed the monitor that held Duo's bound and abused body, and each paled to some degree. They agreed that someone would get to Duo, while the others secured the virus, and then troops from the outside would march in and take over the base. Then it'd be safe for EM crews to come in.  
  
Trowa had noticed the murderous look in Heero's eyes when he'd first talked to Heero over the vid screen. Quatre had told him that he thought that there was something between Heero and Duo, and after that Trowa had noticed it too. So he choose Heero to go after Duo, knowing that Heero was going to go after Duo no matter what he told Heero to do. Heero didn't say a word, but once they blew open the doors that had kept him from rescuing Duo, he took of running faster than Trowa had thusfar seen Heero move.  
  
Heero didn't met a single soul as he made his way to where Duo was held. They had all ran when they had figured out their sanctuary had been breeched. So, Heero made it to his destination without incident.  
  
When he opened the door, the sight made him pause, which was saying alot for him. The security camera's image was nothing like the real thing. Duo's body was horribly bruised, and he lay in a pool of his own blood. The incisions Heero had seen them make were held together with surgical staples. There were other cuts that had not been closed, and there were deep rips in his skin where the restraints were, from his struggling. There were tubes and IVs stuck in him, along with things taped to his skin. As Heero walked up to him, he noticed how Duo's fingers were bent in unnatural ways, and the beads of sweat on his face, which was still twisted up in an expression of pain. His breathing was shallow. "Duo..?" Heero finally managed to force himself to say something as he looked down at Duo's battered face.  
  
"...Heero..?" came Duo's barely audible voice, with just a note of hope to it. His eyelids flickered as he struggled to open them.  
  
"I'm going to get the restraints off you." Heero said, turning to a computer, to hack the locking mechanisims on the locks. He continued while he worked, "Try to keep conscious, medical help will be arriving shortly." he finished coldly, hiding his anxiety completely from Duo. He sounded like his old detached self. The perfect soldier wasn't supposed to be battling with his emotions... although, he had to admit, he had been since he'd seen that monitor.  
  
"... they.. gave me.... somethin' ta.. keep me conscious but.. it's getting.. hard..." Duo managed to get out. Then the restraints clicked apart, and slid back into the table, and Duo let out a soft sigh, relieved that he was no longer confined. "... Heero..?"  
  
"Yes?" Heero answered, returning to Duo's side.  
  
"... this may.. sound stupid, but... could you.. hold .. my... hand? ... I can't see you... too good"  
  
"But, Duo, your fingers.." Heero said, looking down at Duo's injured hands.  
  
"... are broken.. yea.. I know -that-.... but ... please..?" Duo's eyes looked in Heero's direction, but didn't seem to be able to quite focus on him. Hesitating at first, Heero gently took Duo's hand in his own. He saw Duo wince, but then he smiled, "Thanks". They stayed that way for awhile. Heero could see Duo battling against unconsciousness. His eyelids would start to fall before he'd realize what was happening, and then jerk back open again. Heero began to feel Duo's body begin to tremble, and he became alarmed, but he stayed his same emotionless self on the outside. Soon, he heard Duo's questioning voice again.  
  
"Heero..?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"I want.. to tell you.. somethin'..."  
  
"I'm listening"  
  
Duo paused, as if unsure that he should continue, then he just let it out, "I love you."  
  
"Why are you telling me now?" Heero said more harsly than he'd intended, while inwardly he told himself over and over ~It's the fever talking.. it's the fever talking.. ~  
  
Duo had been expecting that kind of answer, and since Heero hadn't come out and said he didn't share Duo's feelings, he wasn't heartbroken. "In... case.. I don't.. get... 'nother... chance"  
  
"Death can't die." Heero stated. He said it so firmly, it made Duo smile.  
  
"You.. obviously... aren't... familiar... with the Necro...nomicon.... 'that which is... not dead.. can eternal lie... and with strange.. eons... even death... may ... die...'" he quoted.  
  
They sat in silence again, for how long Heero wasn't sure. He felt Duo begin to shake worse than before. Duo's breath quickened, and he looked straight above him, and Heero saw him mouth his name, and gasp. Then Duo's breath left him, and his head rolled to the side where Heero was sitting, lifeless eyes meeting Heero's. It was then Heero felt whatever it was that passed for his heart shatter. Finally, he let his mask fall away. He cried out Duo's name, and immediatlly jumped up onto the table, sitting astride Duo's body, and began to try to resuscitate him.   
  
He remembered hearing explosions outside the room. Then Trowa and Wufei coming in, watching in horror. Then, at last, the EM crew. They had to pull him off Duo, and then they had to sedate him to keep him from trying to reach Duo again. They pronounced him dead at 5:05 AM that day. All Heero could think while he had tried in vain to restore life to Duo's body was ~He's dead. He won't come back. He told me he loved me. And I asked him why! Now he's dead, and he'll never hear me say it!! I'm sorry, Duo, I didn't know! Damn you, wake up, so I can tell you! LIVE, DAMN YOU, LIVE!~  
  
***  
  
Heero hadn't cried then. He'd just shut everything off. Duo had been able to reach out to him, and he, along with the others, had been trying to teach Heero how to deal with emotion again. But Duo was dead, and so he'd returned to that unfeeling state, knowing no one else could ever reach his heart again. Although people could reawaken his hate. Those people had proved that much. But now, here was Duo. Sure, he had bat-ish wings now, but you knew by looking into his eyes it was him. He just had that spark that was so uniquely Duo.   
  
Heero was suddenly overcome with a wave of self-hatred and shame. He'd killed innocents, uncaring. He'd worked with terrorists planning to destroy the peace Duo and he had originally fought for. How could Duo have ever loved somone like him? How could Duo ever forgive him? Here, he'd been given another chance to tell Duo, and he'd gone and fucked everything up! He longed to just break down right there. He felt his eyes sting, as other pent up emotions came flooding out. He looked away, not wanting to make himself even more detestible in Duo's eyes by crying about it, especially when he didn't even cry when Duo had died.  
  
Heero felt Duo's arms wrap around him. He heard Duo's soft, comforting voice, "Heero, let it out. You need to. There's no one else here but me." Still, Heero refused, and Duo spoke again, sounding somewhat hurt, "Can't even cry in front of me? If you're worried about someone finding out, I'm dead, so who could I possibly tell?"  
  
"No.. it's not that that.. " Heero said quietly, suddenly finding it hard to talk, his throat locking up. Then the tears came. Duo felt him shutter slightly in his grasp and he rubbed his back gentelly, making soothing nosies. He hadn't expected Heero to go from nothing to bawling. Then, as Heero started to calm, Duo heard him mumble, "Duo, I'm sorry."  
  
"For what?" Duo questioned softly as he let Heero pull away from him somewhat.  
  
"For everything. For letting you die, for all the things I did after you died... ". Heero was looking away from Duo, and reached out a hand and gentelly lifted his head up so they were looking eye to eye.  
  
"Hold on a minute! Letting me die? Heero, there was nothing you could have done. You did more than enough. Because of you I didn't have to die alone. Now, what about these things you've done?" This time Heero pulled away from his hands completely, turning in the oppisite direction. Heero didn't want to say, he didn't want to have to see disgust in Duo's violet eyes, but he went ahead anyway. He desevered Duo's hatred. So he told Duo all about his betrayal of bascially everything they'd ever fought for. Then he waited to be condemned to the darkest regions of hell. He was dead, right? Isn't that what Duo had come to do?  
  
"Heero, you're not God, you're going to make mistakes. You aren't used to dealing with your emotions, so you took it pretty bad. It's understandable! Look, Heero, you're still the person I love, and whatever you've done in the past isn't going to make me love you any less!" Then Duo teleported straight in front of Heero, and put a hand on his shoulder, trying to offer some bit of comfort to the other boy. They stayed like that until Heero built up the courage to look up at Duo, still afraid of what he might see. All he found in Duo's eyes was love and compassion. Finally, he found himself able to say it,  
  
"I love you, Duo."  
  
Duo looked surprized at first, but shortly his joy became appearant, as he smiled with his eyes sparking with what could have been tears. Duo's arms encircled Heero's neck and Heero felt Duo's lips brush up against his own. They held the kiss for a long moment, and Duo pulled back a little, an whispered, "I've been waiting a long time to hear that, Hee-chan."  
  
Heero raised an eyebrow "Hee-chan?"  
  
Duo laughed, and grinned, "Yea, I've been secretly thinking of you as 'Hee-chan' in stead of 'Heero'. Just a pet name. Hope you don't mind."  
  
"Hn." Heero's responce just made Duo laugh some more. Heero loved that laugh, just the way it sounded.. it was musical, almost.   
  
"Now -that's- my Hee-chan!" Duo looked into Heero's eyes, and saw that amused little glint in his eyes. Then Heero's demenor became more serious, without him even moving a single muscle. "Duo... am I dead?"  
  
Duo sighed, and recluctantly breaking their embrace, "Not quite... it's a little complicated...." He saw Heero's questioning look, and continued without being prompted too.  
  
"Heero, I was sent to give you a choice, sicne I am an acting messanger of Death. Your life is hanging in the balance. They misjudged how much they were hurting you, and your heart stopped. They're trying to revive you now, and without intervention, you will die. The choice between life or death is yours, Heero. But before you choose, let me tell you the facts....  
  
"If you choose death, you come with me, and we both go on to the afterlife... we get to rest at last. But, if you die, I can guarantee that Trowa, Quatre, Wufei, Relena, and a whole lot of other people will be joining us very shortly. And their deaths will not be pleasant ones. Westlin will succeed, and the virus will be unleashed." Duo decided too spare Heero most of the details. Westlin's bomb would spread the virus far wider than he originally intended, and all of Asia, Europe, and Africa would suffer it's affects.  
  
"If you live, I can't promise anything but the return of your pain. But, you get the chance to prevent the virus from being released, and a chance for revenge. If you succeed, you'd have to wait for death to come naturally before we could move on. Otherwise, we'll be seperated, and it may be eons before our souls ever reunite. Do you understand?"  
  
Heero nodded solemnly. There really was no choice at all. He had to try, he had to undo the damage he'd done. No matter the cost. Duo and he would be together, but they would both have to wait. As much as he hated having to lose him again, he could continue knowing that Duo was out there. Duo spread his wings, and held out his right hand, a shadow of a scythe appearing over it. Then the shadow started to soldify in front of Duo's hand and he grasped the onyx handled scythe. He choked up on it, so that he held it a few inches below the silver blade. He held out his free hand and the dull side of the scythe's shining blade. Heero looked at the hand and the scythe, and back up to Duo's face. He found his expression completely serious, something that one rarely saw.  
  
"Then, take my hand if you choose life, or touch the scythe, if death is your choice." Heero did not hesitate in taking Duo's hand. Duo suddenly pulled Heero in toward him, and hugged him firecely. Heero, somewhat uncertainly, returned the hug, and he heard Duo whisper into his ear "I'm sorry, but I have to take you back now." Then Duo let him go, although he continued to hold onto one of Heero's hands. Heero saw the tears in his eyes.  
  
"It's alright. I'm ready." Heero told him confidently, although he wasn't sure if he was ready to be returned to his tormented body, to return to the world where Duo was dead. Duo managed a shakey smile, "Then I'll be seeing you... sooner or later." Then Duo faded away as the greyness around him brightened until he was surrounded by white.  
  
~Best of luck....~ came Duo's soft mental voice.  
  
  
Chapter 3  
  
  
The first thing Heero felt was pain. He forced his eyes open, and found the room empty. He was in a bed, not on the cold metal table. The metal restraints had been replaced by fabric ones, probably to keep him from hurting himself as badly on them, and there were only 4 of them, one for each arm and one for each leg. His wounds were bandaged. This was likely the best chance he was ever going to get, and knowing what he did, he was not going to let anything stop him now. He pulled relentlessly at one of the restraints. Pain exploded in his arm, as he reopened the cuts in his wrist from the old restraints, and aggrivated the burns on his arm from whatever they'd put on it. He would have screamed had his voice still worked. Finally, he heard the restraint snap and he blacked out momentarily from the pain. Then he managed to roll over on his side and he tried to undo the lash holding his other arm down, but his fingers were too swollen, so he leaned over and managed to untie with his teeth. With both hands we was able to pull the ones on his legs apart.  
  
He tried to stand up as he got out of the bed, but his right leg gave out on him and he crashed to the floor. He felt along it, and found the reason. Had it only been a fracture, he might have been able to do something about it, but the bone had been shattered. So, he managed to drag himself over to the plugs of all the machines ment to monitor his condition and pulled them all out, so they wouldn't blair in alarm at him when he pulled everything they'd stuck in him out. Then he gasped for breath, his lungs burning terribly, in a way they never had before. Heero ignored it, and went blindly forward, crawling over to a wheeled chair near a computer and heaved himself onto it. A fit of coughing took him, and when he was able to breathe again, he noticed droplets of blood on the computer's monitor and keyboard. He paid it no mind as he worked at the computer's station, figuring out where he was, and how to get out. Sending a signal out for help would be impossible from here, so it appeared he'd have to escape himself.   
  
Managing to get into the system that controlled the distribution of power, he set overloads in all critial systems, and other random places, so his path wouldn't be too obvious to anyone.   
  
He scanned the room for things he could use as weapons. There was nothing, not even one scalpel. So, pushing the chair to the door despite how much it hurt his badly injured arms, he prepared to try to make it out. Using the roller chair to move himself would allow him to proceed faster, since his right leg was useless. He heard the explosions begin as he pushed himself into the hall. There was an explosion near him, and a terminally wounded guard stumbled across his path. The guard reached for his weapon, but Heero fell on him, and tried to wrench the gun from his grip. The guard grabbed Heero's bandaged right arm, and dug his fingers straight into his wound on the forearm. Heero couldn't cry out, but he crumpled and fell, the guard pressing the gun to Heero's temple. Before he could pull the trigger, the guard looked up at -something- , then his eyes rolled back up into his head and he fell to the side. Heero wondered if he was getting a little otherworldly help, but immediatly brought his attention back to his escape.  
  
Heero grabbed the dead guard's gun, but with his right arm throbbing in pain with renewed vigor, he couldn't drag himself back into the chair. After struggling to drag himself and a the dead guard into the nearest room, Heero slowly, as to not aggravate the wounds on his abused body, changed into the guard's uniform. His progress was slowed further as he lapsed into fits of coughing that got worse as time went by. Once dressed, he started to once again to inch his way toward freedom, gun still in hand.  
  
There was still chaos in the hallways, everyone trying to evacuate so they could figure out what went wrong, all afraid the whole facility would blow sky high. When he heard footsteps, he played dead. The people ignored him, far too concerned with their own saftey to worry about some lowly guard. His body began to shake with exhaustion, and he found it hard to keep his eyes open, much less keep up his agonizingly slow pace. But he had to get out to the others, and tell them everything he knew about Westlin's plans. He moved by the power of his will alone. Finally, he found the sewer access he was looking for. Hopefully, there wouldn't be anyone to drag him back to this hell down there. He'd rather die in the sewer.  
  
There was a ladder that went down to a sidewalk. Heero didn't think he could use the ladder in the state he was in. It was about a 10 ft drop, and he didn't think that would kill him. So, he let himself fall.  
  
Heero again tried to cry out in anguish as he fell onto his right side, but only managed to irritate his aching throat further, which caused him to cough uncontrollably, tiny blood droplets slattering everywhere. He managed a soft moan, as he took a long moment to recollect himself, and get used to the stench. He just had to get away. From the information on the computer, this sewer was underneth a part of a city on L2. So, all he had to do was get about 20 yards way from here, and he would be under the city. And in the sewer under the city was better than back at that table. Again he began to crawl. He only pasued when he was forced to cough. He lungs burned, his body ached and throbbed, but he kept going, until finally his body gave one great shutter, and he slipped away.  
  
  
  
  
++++++++++The End++++++++++  
  
Part 3 is up, so please go check it out. Feel free to review this part, though. In fact, I'd really appericiate it!  
  
-ShinigamisAngel  
shinigamisangel@yahoo.com 


	3. Part 3

I do not own Gundam Wing. However, I get the feeling that Gundam Wing owns me.  
  
To anyone following this series (*waves to all 2 of you*), I'm sorry I took so long to write this, but I didn't get many responses, so I spent some time doing other things. But I didn't mean to take this long. It's just when I started to write, I just kept going, and couldn't stop myself. And I ended up finishing the series... anyway...  
  
a quick legend for everyone:  
  
"..."-talking  
~...~-thinking  
{{...}}-telepathic communication  
  
Hope that doesn't confuse you too much ^_^ And just because telepathic communication is in the legend, doesn't necessarily mean it'll be used. This is just my cut 'n' paste legend I use for most serious fics o mine.   
  
Same warnings apply to this fic as the others. These warnings include: Death, torture, shonen ai, some OCCness, AU, ect. ect. If you haven't read the other parts, this fic won't make any sense.   
  
Now, finally, the fic....  
  
  
++++++++++  
  
  
  
  
  
The Pain of Life or the Quiet of Death  
  
(Part 3 - Resolution)  
  
by Shinigamis"I am really sooo sorry about the wait"Angel  
  
  
  
  
Chapter 1  
  
  
"Come on, we've got to go." Wufei said, sounding mildly annoyed, leaning against that doorframe of Trowa's office, arms crossed.  
  
Trowa got up from his desk, and headed out the door, Wufei turning and matching him step for step. "So, tell me about the incident."  
  
"L2 Colony, around 0500 hours, a series of explosions occured from a group of buildings thought to have been abandoned. By the time local authorities responded, most of the people seen escaping from the hidden complex that was found later, had already dispersed. The complex belonged to a group calling themselves 'Apocalypse', and they appearently make a business of creating and selling biological and chemical weapons to terrorist groups. What we were able to pull from what was left of their computer systems suggests that they are the same group resposible for the stealing fo the smallpox virus..." Wufei explained as they made their way to the shuttle.  
  
"... and Duo's death..." Trowa concluded aloud as they passed some vending machines a private was kicking. Wufei nodded, and Trowa continued, "So, we only got one prisoner..?"  
  
"Not exactly. Just one who might know what is going on. The others are mainly the ones too stupid and confused to have gotten away before getting caught. They know nothing." Wufei said with no small amount of contempt in his voice.  
  
"So, does this prisoner have a name?"  
  
"Sure. Heero Yuy."  
  
  
Chapter 2  
  
  
Heero felt the restraints on his wrists and the things stuck into him before he opened his eyes. He tensed.. recaptured? How?   
  
Slowly he opened his eyes, not hearing or sensing anyone else in the room. The room was bright, and through a window light poured into the room. Quite a contrast to the rooms they'd kept him in so far. Why a window?  
  
He realized the pain in his arms was not the same harrowing pain that he'd been suffering eariler. It was quite dull, actually. His head was not strapped down, and he was in a cheap cloth shift, his body covered with a blanket... this couldn't be the same place.  
  
Then it clicked in. Hospital. He was in a hospital. He noticed a small window in the door, and saw through it a guard in UAF uniform.  
  
Restrained and under guard? They must have connected him with his recent activities, but how...? That could make things more difficult, it could slow things down.. and time was not something he had alot of...   
  
He stared at the ceiling, trying to force himself to relax. It was beginning to get to him. He told himself that he was not with those people anymore, but with conditions that were so simular to recent events, his mind started to play back those nightmarish memories. He tried to push them away, like he'd pushed his emotions away, like he'd pushed memories of Duo's death away. But it was all in vain. The events were too recent, too much for him to handle alone.  
  
And so, he started to relive his recent torture.  
  
  
Chapter 3  
  
  
Trowa stopped dead in his tracks, repeating the name. Wufei walked a few steps ahead, before turning on on foot and looking back at Trowa, nodding.  
  
Trowa stared at Wufei, unbelieveing. "Why didn't you tell me?" Trowa demanded, becoming angry with Wufei. "You withheld important information from me."  
  
Wufei did not look away. He stood there, calm and composed, "I did so with good reason. Had I told you, you would have gone running to Quatre with the news. Quatre would convince you to go easy with him, despite evidence of his treason. He would convince you to give him a second chance, to accept whatever he said as truth. I can't allow that to happen before we find out what exactly his involvement is, and what is to be done with him."  
  
"There is no excuse for not telling me! Both Quatre and I have the right to know!" Trowa nearly shouted at the Chinese boy, becoming more enrared by the second.   
  
"But, do you deny that what I said is true?" Wufei said, arching an eyebrow, "I do not despute the fact that you and Quatre should know, which is why I am telling you now, and Quatre will know as soon as the initial interogattion is finished. Otherwise I would conduct the investigation myself."  
  
Trowa did not have anything to say to that. He hated to admit it, but Wufei was right. Quatre brought out his gentelness, which was -not- a good thing when he had to deal with criminals. So he brushed by Wufei, continuing on his way. The sooner he got answers, the better. Wufei silently followed him.  
  
  
Chapter 4  
  
  
Heero could not take being tied down any longer. He had to get away. His -need- to get away overrode his reason. Once again, he snapped the restraint binding one of his hands, but this time it was easier, whaever painkiller they gave him still working wonders. After freeing himself from the bed, he looked back up at the status of the guard. He was zoned out. ~Idiot.~ Heero thought, as he used one of the IV stands near him to help him to beside the door, his right leg in a cast and still useless. He made sure that none of the things stuck into him that were ment to monitor his condition were removed. Then he picked up his chart. When he was ready, he threw it at the window.   
  
The guard heard the window shatter, and rushed inside, where Heero delivered a sharp blow to the base of his skull, knocking him out cold. Closing the door, Heero managed to kneel down. ~Time for another swtiching of garments... ~ he thought as took the guards uniform. Then, Heero started to remove the things monitoring his condition. Before any of the machines could sound an alarm, he shoved the devices into the guard. Then, dragging the guard behind him, he managed to get back to the bed, where he tried the guard down with strips of cloth he ripped from the sheets. He paused, completely exhausted. He began to cough again, but there was no blood, a small comfort.   
  
Already, the painkiller was losing it's potency. He needed to find something other than an IV stand to aid his walking. He checked the window that looked out into the hall. The corridor was empty, so he carefully made his way into the hall, the throbbing pain in his arms awakening, along with the agony in his leg. He searched the two rooms closest to his own. He found what he was looking for in the third. Opperating the wheelchair with his arms still in terrible condition would be difficult and painful, he would be able to get around faster, and would be less suspicious.  
  
Finally, Heero stopped to think about what he was doing. He was running away from the very people he needed to talk to. But, he wouldn't be able to stand to be restrained like that. And the fact that they'd restrained him showed they didn't trust him and wouldn't listen, anyway. Of course, if they knew what he'd done, they had no reason to trust him... so what was he to do? He couldn't stop it all by himself. He needed someone who would believe him. ~Quatre....~  
  
A plan started to formulate in his mind. He needed to get to Quatre's home on L4, it was his best chance. The security around the Colonial Assembly station was too high for him to slip through in his condition, once they realized he was missing and started to look for him.  
  
So, he had to find a flight to L4.. well, he could hack a ticket once he found a suitible computer terminal... And a UAF soldier in a wheelchair wasn't unheard of.. no one would give him a second look, especially since the uniform itself covered up all of his bandages. Of course, he wasn't going to get very far unless he got something to keep his pain managable.  
  
He was in a hospital, wasn't he? He'd just swipe some morphine on the way out....  
  
  
Chapter 5  
  
  
Wufei let out a long string of Chinese curses when he saw the guard tied down and unconscious on the bed that was supposed to contain Heero. He ran out the door to order the hospital searched, and report Heero's disappearence, while Trowa untied the guard. Nurses came for the guard, and awhile after that, Wufei came back, his anger evident in his eyes.  
  
"They don't call him the perfect soldier for nothing." Trowa said simply.   
  
Wufei scowled, "He shouldn't have been able to get that far in his condition, especially since he was restrained, and there was that guard. Damn it! " Wufei's hands closed into fists, and he looked like he was ready to punch the wall.. or whomever got too close to him. "We need to find him. Within five days."  
  
Trowa narrowed his eyes, "What haven't you told me now?"  
  
Wufei glared at him, "Heero is sick. Apocolpyse was using him as a test subject, although we're not quite sure why. He's been infected by a virus that damages the respriatory system. First going for small blood vessels in the lungs, and progressivly getting worse. They were able to reverse the effects when Heero was here, but hadn't immunitized him against the virus. So, he is going to become sick again. After 5 days the effects will be irreversable, and he will die. I doubt he knows about any of it. Not to mention there is a possiblilty of him infecting someone."  
  
"So, Heero is going to die within a week unless we find him in time, and he may have important information regarding impending terrorist attacks. Am I completely up to speed now, Wufei?"   
  
"Yea. Come on... we have a search to orgainize..." Wufei said, turning and exiting the room. Trowa glaced out the broken window for a moment thinking ~Why are you running, Heero?~, before following the other boy.  
  
  
Chapter 6  
  
  
Heero was at the public library, using a computer to get himself on the next flight to L4. The morphine worked it's small miracles, freeing him from most of his pain. Everything was going as well as he could have hoped until he felt a light touch on his shoulder.  
  
He looked up into the eyes of Schneider, second to only to Westlin himself. She smiled, and Heero soundlessly put his hand over his gun, loosening it from it's holster. If nothing else, he could take at least one of the bastards out.  
  
"Apocolpsye lost you, huh, Janus? Or should I call you Heero, now?" she sneered.  
  
"Call me whatever you wish. Both names are not real."  
  
She laughed, "Not even giving your real name to the UAF, hmmm? And don't think I don't notice your gun. If you shoot me, I'll blow some civilian building to bits.." She pulled out a hand that was in her pocket out part ways to reveal a detonator. "Never leave home without some insurance. Guess we have a stalemate for now, right?" She shoved her hand back into her pocket.  
  
"Hn." Heero did not thing that detonator was actually hooked up to something, but he couldn't risk it.  
  
Grinning, she glanced over him, "Daaaamn, I would never have figured any 'rat' could escape from Apoc, much less be running around a few days afterwards. A stolen UAF uniform, too.... " She pointed to the insignia on the arm of his uniform, "Either that, or you got demoted to corporal, since you were a colonel...  
  
"UFA's looking for you now. Devoting alot of time and effort to the search. Must want you bad. Apocalypse is after you, too. And you're not exactly on Westlin's good side anymore, are you?" She crossed her arms and looked down at him.  
  
~So Apoc must be the people who captured me....~Heero thought to himself as he looked up at her, becoming annoyed. What the hell was she doing? "Why are you telling me what I already know? Stop wasting my time."  
  
She looked over the computer screen, "Running to L4, huh...?" He continued to stare at her, and another smile crept up on her face.  
  
"Alright, I'll get to the point. You're talented, which everone should know by now.. you were a UAF colonel at very young age, and have managed to survive against all odds, without outside help. An ex-UAF colonel could be useful to me. I'm willing to pay more than that cheap bastard Westlin, and with me you don't have to worry about the UAF or Apoc. Westlin will be taken care of shortly after the date."  
  
Hah.. so that's what she was trying to get at. ~She must think my loyality goes to the highest bidder.. and she would have been correct before... ~. She didn't have to explain what 'the date' was. It was the date he needed to warn the others about.. the day they would attack Relena and Sanq. The proposition was not all that appealing to him. If he were to agree to join, and to become protected by her group, it would be too late by the time he'd be able to alert Trowa, Wufei, and Quatre about the impending attack. But, what would she do if he refused? "I have business to attend to on L4."  
  
"I need your assisstance -now-. L4 can wait." she said, becoming slightly agitated. Schneider thought a merc like Heero would jump on her offer.  
  
Heero looked back at the computer, and began to log off. He paused, coughing into his hand several times before looking up. "No, it can't. If you want my services, it will wait until after L4."  
  
She half growled at him, "I really must -insist-." Her future orginization needed his hacking skills, and the keys to breaking UAF encoding, which he should know, having been a colonel. His assassination and soldiering skills would also come in handy.  
  
"Insist all you like. My answer is either wait until I'm finished, or leave me alone."  
  
She drew herself up, and looked down at him, and smiled slightly "Alright. I'll be seeing you, Heero Yuy." Then she turned on her heel and left without further confrontation. But that smile made Heero wary of her. Once she was out of sight, he carefully wheeled himself out of the library, and to where his shuttle awaited him.  
  
  
Chapter 7  
  
  
Heero's trip to L4 wasn't exactly pleasant. He was seized by fits of coughing, and their frequency had been increasing. His lungs began to discomfort him, and halfway though the flight, he noticed blood in the hand he was coughing into.   
  
Finally, he made it to the colony. It was late, and he was compleltely exhausted. His arms shook uncontrollably, and breathing was becoming a chore. It would not do him any good if he passed out in the middle of the street, so he was forced into checking into a hotel for the night. At 3 AM, he was able to let himself sleep.  
  
***  
  
His night was not undistrubed. He awoke coughing up many little droplets of blood several times during the night. He entered a deep sleep right when the colony was becoming lighted for day. He awoke again at 4 PM, not feeling very rested, but his arms did not shake as they had before, so he get back into his wheelchair and stared out again.  
  
Quatre's ... and Trowa's... home was not that far away. But, since none of the buses or taxis around were built to accommodate wheelchairs, he had to get himself there the hard way. Luckly, his morphine supply had not run out, and his wounds did not bother him very much.  
  
He was within 20 minutes from his goal when a child of about 9 years of age passed close by him, and he felt his skin get pricked by something. Before he could cry out for help, his body began going limp on him, and he lost consciousness.  
  
***  
  
  
"I told you I'd be seeing you. I also insisted you help me, but you wouldn't listen...."  
  
Schnieder. That bitch. Heero was hanging in the center of the dark and cold cell by his hands, which were tied together. His uniform had been removed, and he was clothed only in a pair of boxers, his bandaged removed. His feet barely touched the concrete floor beneath him. He opened his eys to find her smiling face.  
  
"I see that Apoc really -did- do a number on you." Her smile broaded as she held up a bottle of morphine, "And I see how you've been able to get around with those impressive wounds. How long you been taking this? How much? Think you're addicted, yet? Heh..." She threw the bottle straight to the ground by his feet, the glass shattering, and some of the shards imbedding themselves into his unprotected skin.  
  
"Ooops.." she said mockingly. "It would have been so much easier if you'd just joined willingly. I don't like to coerce people into joing me.. espcially when I have to use pain as an insentive. Really, I don't. But in yor case, I don't think I have to do much more than leave you here. You'll feel every one of your injuries shortly, and after that will come withdrawl... but, we can always provide more morphine, if you're willing to work for it...."  
  
Heero simply glowered at her, and she sighed, "I hate waiting. James, David, see if you can convince him a little faster.." she said, waving two large men toward Heero. As they began to hammer Heero's defenseless self with punches and kicks, Schneider turned and said over her shoulder, "I'll be leaving, since like I said, I don't like having to do this. So, I'll see you when you've decided to be helpful...", and then she was gone.  
  
Heero stayed silent during the beating. He didn't want them to know how much pain they were causing him. The only reason he could take their blows sliently was because the morphine hadn't completely worn off... but Heero know that it did, his pain would be doubled, at least. He felt as bones were broken or displaced, as wounds reopened, as small rivulets of blood began to run down his body. Thankfully, he blacked out soon after Schneider's disappearance.  
  
  
***  
  
  
When Heero woke, his body was again screaming with pain. He was laid out on the floor, his hands still bound, a chain leading up from them, to a pulley on the ceiling, the chain ending in a crank on the left wall.   
  
Heero started coughing again, the very act causing him to know a new level of pain. His broken ribs cried out in protest to the movement, his lungs feeling like they'd been shredded. His head pounded with a headache unlike anything he'd ever felt before. He couldn't move from the position he'd been left in, his body not responding to his commands. The act of drawing air into and out of his lungs took up all his strength and energy. All he was able to do was lie there, suffering.   
  
The world blurred in and out. He lost the concept of time, but now and then someone would come in and ask if he'd like to help them now. He never answered, he wasn't quite sure if he was able to.  
  
How'd he end up in a place like this, again? It seemed like it was impossible to escape from the underground world of terrorism... If he agreed to help them, they wouldn't let him out of their sight, and find other ways time make him do as they wanted until there was no use for him anymore. If he continued to refuse, they'd eventually kill him.   
  
He'd only been lucky to escape before... there was no way he could do it again, was there? Heero closed his eyes. What else could he do? He didn't bother to open his eyes when he heard someone enter the room. It probably just another one of his tormentors.  
  
"Allah... what have they done?" Heero reconzied that voice. It was Rashid... how could he be here? Heero kept his eyes closed, thinking it was just a hallucination. It had to be. No one would save him now. No one would want to.  
  
He felt someone unlocking the chains that bound his hands. He felt a hand brush up against his forehead, and Rashid's voice say, "He's burning up... Abdul, hurry up with that strecher." Heero finally dared to open his eyes. They met Rashid's. He said weakly, before the other man could react, "Quatre.. I have to.. tell him..."  
  
Rashid looked at him, eyes filled with worry, "You will. Just hang on...". Then Heero's vision blurred as he lost the battle to stay conscious.  
  
  
Chapter 8  
  
  
Quatre sat beside Heero's hospital bed. It was sickening to see what had been done to Heero. Quatre wouldn't leave the side of the bed until Heero awoke. He hadn't told Trowa that Heero was here, or anyone else. He wasn't planning to let anyone know, either. The hospital, having been financed by his company, didn't have a problem with keeping the secret.  
  
Quatre's empathic abilities had been working overtime lately. He had felt Heero's fear when he was trapped in that hospital room. When later Trowa explained to him what had happened, Quatre couldn't believe that they'd tied Heero up like that, after what he'd been through. Trowa also told him that Heero had about five days to live after his escape because of something that those terrorists had done to him. They'd cut it close to that deadline.  
  
He had known he would have to find Heero first. Trowa and Wufei would just put Heero through more than he'd already gone through, even if they really did not mean to hurt him like that. Quatre also felt Heero's intense desire to tell someone something... Usually, he wouldn't get a detail like that through the link he shared with the other pilots, but he'd become more attunded to Heero these last few days. He was determined to be here for Heero when he awoke. Heero had no one left but him.  
  
Rashid and the others had been searching the colony for any leads to Heero's whereabouts. They had tried infiltrating the underground in desperation. To their surprize, they learned of a terrorist safehouse not to far from Quatre's home. Working alone, in case Heero was found there, they'd stormed the small facility. There were few staying at the safehouse, and those that were caputed were found dead within hours of being put into custody. Cyanide had been the cause. Heero was found in the basement. They'd been very fortunate, not only in finding him, but finding him before it was too late to save him... physically, at least.  
  
Just then, Heero's eyes snapped open, muscles tensing, and Quatre felt his surge of panic, although that feeling never made it to Heero's facial expression. He lifted up a hand, and examined his bandaged wrist. No restraint... none, and that surprized him. Then he looked over at Quatre, and he relaxed somewhat.  
  
"Quatre," Heero started... it still hurt to breathe, making it more difficult for him to talk, "... what is the day? .. Are the others here?"  
  
Quatre shook his head, "No, it's just me. And it's the 14th of July, around 9 pm."  
  
Heero tried to sit up, but gave up on that when pain forced him to quit. He fell silently back against the pillow, and Quatre looked somewhat apologetic, "The doctors didn't want to give you a strong painkiller, since you were suffering from withdrawl, and they didn't want to make you become dependant again."  
  
"Nevermind that. Tomarrow terroists plan on releasing a biological weapon that will affect everyone inside the old borders of the Sanq kingdom, and attempting to assasssinate Relena." His tone was devoid of emotion, but the look in his eyes was urgent. Quatre looked at solemnly. With Heero's alleged activities, he'd been expecting something like that.  
  
"Alright, I believe you." Quatre pulled out a tape recorder, and hit the record button. "Please, tell me everything you know."  
  
Heero began to pour out all the details as fast as his battered body would allow him to go. He told Quatre about the five different places there had been discussions about hiding the bomb, and how three of those places would be used. He spoke of Westlin, of Schneider, and any other names that he could recall, and their descriptions. It was 10:30 when Heero had finished with absolutely everything he knew about the conspiracy. Quatre stood up so he could go and find Trowa. But Heero had one more thing to say, "Quatre, let me be in Relena's escort."   
  
Quatre looked down at Heero, surprized, "But.. your condition... and then there's the UAF's charges against you..."  
  
Heero looked straight into Quatre's eyes, "I made mistakes. I need to start to redeem myself."  
  
Quatre could see in Heero's eyes, and feel it in his own heart, that Heero was telling the truth. And Quatre understood him perfectly. He sighed softly, "I'll see what I can do." He then turned and rushed off to find Trowa. They didn't have much time.  
  
  
Chapter 9  
  
  
"I warned you! He's convinced you to believe that traitor!" Wufei yelled at Trowa. Trowa didn't have time for this.  
  
"Are you accusing Quatre of manipulating me? I do not believe there will be any harm in it, and there will be no harm in increasing Relena's security. Also, there is no concrete evdience proving treason." Trowa told Wufei, his tone acidic.  
  
Wufei nearly growled, "You know I'm not accusing Quatre of that. What if the places he claimed the bomb is, if there really even is a bomb, are just traps?"  
  
"What if they aren't? There's half an hour to midnight, and Heero wasn't able to specifiy a time of day, so we don't have the time to be arguing."  
  
Wufei grumbled, but did not continue the dispute. Trowa began speaking again. "I'm going with Heero to protect Relena. We can be at the Colonial Assembly station in an hour. Are you coming?"  
  
Col. Wufei gave a short nod, and they left in silence for the launch bay.  
  
  
***  
  
  
Heero was able to stand and walk around thanks to new medical techonoligies developed by the doctors Quatre had been giving grants to. It was combination of using a new technique to get his bones to fuse together faster, and braces he had to wear on each leg. He couldn't exactly move very well, but he could manage a quick paced walk if need be. If all else failed, he would be able to get out of the way of the healthier guards.   
  
He'd also taken the liberty of stealing morphine again, so his pain was dulled enough he could pretty much move the rest of his body without difficulty. Quatre would be upset when he found out, and he'd have to suffer the symptoms of withdrawl once again, but it was a small price to pay if it ment they could save Relena's life.  
  
Quatre, Trowa, Wufei, and he arrived on the station, along with other UAF personnel who would search the premises. Trowa, Wufei, and Heero would work with Relena's exisiting bodyguards to protect her. Quatre was there simply because he worked there as a representative for his colony, although, unlike usual, he was armed in case he was needed to defend Relena as well... or even himself.  
  
All four of them went to check on Relena's room, but found it empty. A servant told them that she'd gone into the reception room to speak with the newly elected representatives from the L3 Colony who had just arrived. The four of them arrived at the reception area without any trouble, and without noticing any suspicious activity. They spied Relena in the north east corner of the crowded room. Heero noticed that were balconies that looked over the room. ~Shit~ he thought, as he knew they'd make a good perch for the assassin.  
  
"We'll have to get her out of this room" Trowa said, noticing the same thing Heero did, as they pushed their way toward Relena. Then as some people moved past them, Heero got a good look at who Relena was talking to.   
  
He watched in horror as Westlin, in a suit with the insignia of the L3 colony embroidered on it, revealed his gun and shot Relena point blank range straight into the center of her chest.  
  
And time slowed down.  
  
Relena fell back soundlessly as those around her screamed, and Westlin turned his head, reconition in his eyes as they settled on Heero. In that same instant someone behind him shoved him aside, and Westlin made to shoot Heero. Heero pulled his gun as he fell to the side, and as Westlin shot the area where Heero had been, he heard a cry of pain. Heero had no time to worry about whomever it was, because the two people closest to Westlin had started to pull guns, as well. Heero freed his own gun from it's holster, and before he'd hit the floor, Heero had shot Westlin in the head. He saw Trowa shot one of the men beside Westlin, whom fell to the ground screaming and then lay still. There was another shot from somewhere near Trowa a fraction of a second after Trowa had fired, and the remaining gunner shot at that same instant. By this time, so many people were screaming it was impossible to tell by sound alone if the bullets hit their targets, but Heero saw the the last conspirator fall to the ground in an expanding pool of blood.   
  
He made a quick glance around the room for anyone else who might be a threat, but he could identify none. UAF officers were flooding the area, and people cleared out the area where the shoot out occured. He saw Trowa by Quatre's side, the blonde pushing him gently away, blood staining his left arm, though it appeared to be only a nick and wasn't bleeding badly. Relena, who'd fallen only five feet from him, was still alive, her eyes still open, but not appearing to see anything. Noin held her, and when her tear's fell onto Relena's face, she did not even flinch. She didn't have long.  
  
Then Heero twisted around, to see Wufei behind him, the upper left portion of his chest gushing blood from his bullet wound. Wufei had been the one to push him out of the way... Heero never would have thought Wufei would do such a thing, especially since Wufei had been making his disgust with Heero well known. He stumbled over to Wufei, applying pressure to the injury, trying to stop all the bleeding. Wufei struggled for breath, his eyes squeezed shut.  
  
Then Wufei's eyes opened, and settled on something above where the bodies of the three assassins lay. Heero followed his gaze, and saw Duo hovering above them, wings spread, scythe in hand. Another look around the room made it obvious only he, Relena, and Wufei could see Duo.  
  
Then from the bodies of the terrorists stood transulent versions of themselves. Their gaze was instantly drawn to Duo overhead. Duo looked down at them, eyes cold, mouth set in a frown alien to Duo's face. The... well, the 'souls' of Westlin's two comrades trembled in fear, and even Westlin seemed intimidated. He heard Westlin's shakey voice say, "Who are you?"  
  
{{Shinigami, here to deliver you to your judgement... You are lucky it is not my place to judge. But, it is unlucky for you, that I get to choose the method in which you get to your destination.}}, Duo's mental voice echoed in Heero's mind. Duo held up the scythe in one hand above his head, and twirled it effortlessly, like his Deathscythe used to, and dove down, slicing through each of the three. As Duo's scythe passed through them, they cried out in agony as their 'bodies' were drawn into the blade, making it shine too brightly to look at directly. The light faded from the scythe, and Duo sighed. He turned and looked over at Wufei and Relena.  
  
"No.... go away... you're finished here.....", Heero found himself whispering. Never would he had ever thought he would wish the man he adored away with such fervor. Duo looked at him mournfully.  
  
"A soul I am sent to collect that is not taken is damned to wander restlessly for all eternity. I must." Duo said softly, switching back to speaking aloud. Heero looked away, back down at Wufei, whose eyes had closed but heart still beat, and who still breathed, if unsteadily. Duo continued, voice pleading, "Please, understand, Heero, I do not choose when their time is. I just guide them."  
  
"I do understand, Duo, but why you?" he murmered softly, looking into back Duo's violet eyes. Into the eyes of Death.  
  
"It was what I was choosen to do, while I waited. I will not be a messanger of death for all eternity. You will be the last I have to take... then.." Duo let himself trail off... He added, before Heero could speak again, predicting what his love would say ,"And I can't take you in their place. As I explained, if I take you early..."  
  
"... we will be separated..." Heero finished for Duo, under his breath.  
  
Duo nodded solemnly, and walked over to Relena, Heero's eyes following him as he knelt down beside her. He said quietly, "Relena, can you hear me...? Open your eyes, if you can...." Heero watched as her eyes barely opened, and she looked directly at Duo. He was the only person she could see, the sound of his voice the only thing she could hear. She couldn't hear Noin telling her to hold on, that the EM crews were only minutes away.   
  
Duo held his hand directly above Relena's, "Take my hand." Relena found a strength she hadn't had moments before, and grasped Duo's hand. Heero saw as he gently pulled Relena's soul up from her body. Then Relena's body gave a final shutter, and died. Noin's pierceing cry was heard over the all the chaos caused by the attack, and the room fell silent.   
  
Heero looked down at Wufei, not wanting to see him go. How many more people did he have to lose? How many out of his very, very small pool of friends? Wufei's eyes opened, just as Duo looked at him, and their eyes met. After holding the gaze for a few seconds, Duo smiled.   
  
"Not your time, yet, buddy. You're too stubborn.... although, that alone isn't what saved you... Bye, Wufei." Duo finished just as Wufei lost consciousness. Heero gave a small sigh of relief, although he was still worried for Wufei... and Relena. Duo turned his attention to her, who was just getting her bearings. She couldn't see anyone in the room except for Duo, and it was finially clicking into place in her mind; the scythe, the wings, the fact that Duo was dead...  
  
"Am I dead?" she asked him, afraid of the answer. Duo sighed and walked up to her side. There was no easy way to tell someone that they had died.  
  
"Yes...", was all he managed to say, and Relena's eyes began to tear. Duo 'shh'ed her, trying to give her some small bit of comfort "Cheer up, it isn't as bad as you might think..." He offered her his arm, "Now, if you'd please come with me, I'll show you.", then he smiled softly at her.   
  
She took his arm, and said somewhat nervously, "Where are we going?"  
  
"You've got _nothing_ to worry about, Relena." Duo looked back over his shoulder, and smiled at Heero.  
  
{{You don't have to worry about her, either, Heero. Until I see you again......}} Then there was a flash of blinding light, Heero could no longer see either of them.  
  
"Duo..." he whispered somberly, wanting so badly to go with him, if only for a few more moments... even if his final destination would be Hell. He had never before believed in a Hell, but recent events had made him unsure about that.  
  
Someone tugging on his arm interrupted his thoughts, and he looked up at the EMs all around. He stood up and let them take over, and Trowa, who had first tugged on his arm, started to lead him away from the bloody scene.   
  
  
Chapter 10  
  
  
The release of the virus was prevented, thanks to the information Heero had provided the UAF. He'd been readmitted to the hospital after the assassination of Relena Darlian, still in poor health, and suffering from withdrawl.  
  
Wufei, Heero, and Quatre had all made full recoveries. Wufei never talked to Heero about seeing Duo, but Heero never figured he would. Wufei did, however, help clear him of all the charges that had been brought against him. Soon afterwards, he was reinstated as a Colonel of the UAF.  
  
Once he was a member of the UAF again, he began to track and hunt down the Apocalypse organization. He'd destroyed it completely within the first year, and for his work, he recieved many commendations. Not that Heero cared.  
  
After he had avenged Duo's death, and his own torture at their hands, the other pilots had noticed Heero had been spending alot of time at hospitals, around the ER. Only Wufei knew why.   
  
Heero had wanted to see Duo again, and the only way he could think of to do that was to be where Duo was going to be. What he was doing was pretty morbid, but he didn't care, he just wanted so despritely to look into those beautiful eyes. In short, he was impatient.   
  
Heero never saw Duo in those ERs, but he could have sworn he saw some of the dying reach out for a hand that wasn't there. He finally quit when he realized that this was not what Duo would want him to do.  
  
Trowa retired, and he and Quatre adopted children. Wufei and Heero had gone on to became generals in the UAF.  
  
Thirty-four years had passed since that bloody day he'd last seen his love, and Heero lay in the hospital bed, in pain. His vital organs were beginning to fail him, and he was only 50 years old. All his body had been subjected to when he was younger had taken it's toll.  
  
Quatre was asleep by his bed. The doctors had told him that Heero might pass on at any time, and there was nothing more they could do to help him, except to try to keep him comfortable. But, since Heero had bad reactions to most painkillers now, they couldn't even do that very well. Quatre watched over him because he didn't want Heero to have to die alone.  
  
Heero lay there, his chest hurting, and the pain in his abdomen becoming unbearable. It was as sun was setting, and the room was filled with orange light, that suddenly, Heero no longer felt the pain. He didn't feel the exhaustion. In fact, he felt pretty good. And he heard someone outside the door.  
  
A familar demon-winged figured stepped into the room. Duo looked down at him, grinning, having not aged a day since Heero saw him last. "You ready yet?" he said cheerfully.  
  
A smile crept up onto Heero's face. He couldn't remember that last time he had smiled, or even if he had ever smiled. It surprized Heero, and from the look on Duo's face, it surprized him, too. "What took you?" Heero asked.  
  
"Well, well, well, aren't we in a hurry? Hmph, maybe I should just let you wait some more, see how you like that!" Duo crossed his arms, eyes looking up at the ceiling, pretending to think about it, his face taking on a thoughtful expression. In reality was just as anxious as Heero, but he couldn't help but tease Heero a little.  
  
"Duo!" Heero whipered harshly, remembering Quatre was still there. But he knew Duo was just screwing around. There really was no changing Duo, and Heero wouldn't have it any other way.  
  
"Don't rush me! It'll just take me longer! ...." Duo put his hands on his hips, and looked back down at Heero, smiling playfully, "What was I thinking about, again?"  
  
Heero narrowed his eyes, "Sometime this year would be nice, Duo."  
  
"Tsch. Fine. Be that way." Duo said, chuckling as he walked over beside Heero, and held out his hand, "Come on, then." As Heero took the offered hand, he felt a warm wave wash over him, and he was free.  
  
***  
  
Quatre was in a grassy flied when he heard two people's laughter. Once was familiar to him, the other was forgein to his ears, and yet familair as well. Then he realized, it was Duo... and Heero! Heero... laughing? He felt someone tap his back, and Quatre whipped around. It was Heero, as he looked when he was 18, angelic wings of pure white spread behind him. Heero was smiling, something that shocked Quatre entirely. "Heero..?"  
  
"Don't be upset, Quatre, when you wake up. I remember how torn up you were after Duo's death, and again after Relena's. I don't want you to go through that again, especially over me."  
  
Then above him, Quatre heard Duo's voice, "Hey! Up here!" Quatre looked up to see Duo, looking as old as he was when he died, a pair of midnight black feathered wings streching from his back. He grinned down at Quatre, a purely Duo-esqe grin. "Don't worry about him Quatre, I'll take good care of him. And you don't have to worry about me either, if you still do, 'cause I'm sure Heero'll do the same for me. Right, Hee-chan?"  
  
"But of course, my black winged tenshi!" Heero called to his love, jumping into the air to fly to him. Just as Heero tackled Duo mid-air, Duo shouted back down to the blonde, "Have a nice life, Quatre! We'll be seeing you... eventually!!"  
  
Then the loud and steady beep of the heartmonitor woke Quatre up. He started to panic, but then he looked down in his lap and saw two feathers. One black, and one white. Remembering the dream, he smiled, and a few tears slid down his cheeks. He knew his friends had finally found happiness.   
  
  
  
++++++++++The End++++++++++  
  
  
It's finally over! I hope you liked, and again, sorry for the wait, I hope it was worth it.  
  
I'm sorry if the paragraph about the shoot out was kind confusing, but if you got confused, here's what basically what happened:  
  
1. Westling shots Relena  
2.Westlin sees Heero and turns to shoot him.  
3. Wufei pushes Heero aside, taking the bullet in the left portion of his chest.  
4. Before hitting the ground, Heero shots Westlin in the head. Two people working for Westlin draw their guns.  
5. Trowa shoots one of them dead before they get off a shot.  
6. Quatre and the remaining gunner fire at eachother at the same time, Quatre's left arm is nicked by the bullet, and the last gunner dies from his wound.  
  
Please, please, please review. I need to know if I should do more things like this, or if you readers what comedy, or whatever. But, I should warn you, a really bad way to make me stop writing things like this is to flame me.   
  
Thanks for reading!  
  
-ShinigamisAngel  
shinigamisangel@yahoo.com  
  
  



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